Friday, April 2, 2010

My deep-felt thanks...


... to all of you for your thoughtful comments and messages. Now, more than ever, I feel I am actually talking to friends when I blog...
As some of you already know from experience, losing a mother is heart-breaking even if the mom has already had a long life (mine was almost 96) and ready to go (she had been waiting since my Dad passed away in 2005). But I am happy that we were with her for her last few days and glad that she went away peacefully.
I talked to her on her last morning. We were alone in the room. Her eyes were closed and she gave no sign of hearing or even feeling that I was there. But I kept talking. I told her that we would be fine and that she had earned the right to rest. I also told her that she would soon be reunited with loved ones who had left before her and I went down the list of names. Still no response.
However, when I mentioned her first-born, a beautiful little boy who inexplicably lived only for 36 hours, she gave a start (the only sign of life she gave that day besides breathing). 
My Mom has grieved for this child every day of her life. Close to 70 years after the event, she still had tears in her eyes when she spoke of him. I don't think it is a coincidence that she started when I said his name. I think that she heard me. If she heard that, she heard everything else. But even more importantly, I think that by telling her she was on her way to him, I inadvertently made it a bit easier for her to leave us. I will cherish this thought forever.
Now we are back home. Spring has arrived. We must hide eggs for the grandchildren to hunt for tomorrow. I am reactivating my starter and planning the Easter brunch menu. My Mom loved flowers (especially very pink ones) and good food (especially dessert). Before she grew really old, she also loved life. From wherever she is today (if only in my heart), I know she's happy to see us go on.

11 comments:

  1. I think you and your mom were really fortunate that you were at her side those last days. It brought amazing closure to both of you, and what a great way to help her make that last part of her trip. She must have been listening to you. She was very fortunate to have a daughter like you.

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  2. Welcome home, MC, and a blessed Easter to you and those you love.

    Lindy

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  3. Hola Marie-Claude que hermosas palabras !!! Acompanandote con todo mi corazon.
    Patricia

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  4. Good to have you back friend!!

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  5. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Mom. I just lost mine in October (2009), and I understand the joy of knowing she no longer suffers, but the hole that is created in the heart from the loss. I am so happy that you were able to spend her last days with her. May you and yours be blessed with peace and comfort during the grieving times that will come. You will be in our good thoughts and prayers.

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  6. I am sorry also to read your post. Bless you and your family and hope that all our thoughts give you some comfort at this sad time.

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  7. Dear MC

    “…earned the right to rest.” Is this an English or French expression?

    I am glad that you are back home. I have been thinking of you, and missing you.

    I had been away myself with the kids to Singapore for the Easter break. We have all been busy in our own way throughout the year, so I am glad that the family had a chance to spend some quality time together undisturbed.

    The last few days you spent with your Mom was pure quality time and beautiful. I feel that through you I also know a little bit about your Mom. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.

    Shiao-Ping

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  8. Nice to see you back
    Cheers

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  9. I am so sorry about your loss, MC. How wonderful that you were able to spend that time with her. You're in my thoughts.

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  10. Hi, MC.

    My condolences on the loss of your mother. It was fortunate for both of you that you were able to be together at the end.

    My father passed away a year and a half ago. He was a week shy of his 90th birthday. All his (5) children, his grandchildren and great grandchildren had gathered from around the country for his birthday. It meant a lot to all of us ... my father included ... to be able to be together at that time.

    David (from TFL)

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  11. Thank you all for your kind and comforting words. Yes, indeed, my Mom passed away the way she had always said she wanted to and I am happy that she got her wish.

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